Doesn't take an MFA to carve up a Pumpkin
Or to appreciate the grace of Isadora Duncan.
Sunken treasure, electric chair is bad
Round up the radicals put 'em on sabbatical
In Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine
Funny you should mention Maine, because
there's a Redwood forest in my brain
Smell of the Pine-sol emanations off of me.
No AquaVelva-Calvin Klein-Old-Spice or
Get off my back—merchandise is the King
You say Pong I say Ping and if
I'm wrong you can ring ring ring me
'til the cows come Home. MOOO!
Treason is an offense you rarely read about
From Highest Highs to the Lowest Low Low Lows
Lois Lane knows what it is to be
a Benedict Arnold in an Iroquois Teepee
Lacrosse is the game
The Preppies stole it
So why's it got a French name?
Because it's from Quebec you dope
Pull out the wool, get a degree
It will help your love life like
Shrapnel in Vietnamese knees . . . (Please)